• doctor: sir we asked you to tape your allergic reactions this is just a video of you skateboarding
  • me: tell me thats not sick
  • doctor: haha yeah its pretty fucking sick dude
  • nun: pastor, we are having trouble with the exorcism
  • pastor: have you tried unblessing and blessing again ?
sciencenerdfightersftw:

These tweets consistently make me think really really hard about life.  It’s not comfortable but I like it.

sciencenerdfightersftw:

These tweets consistently make me think really really hard about life.  It’s not comfortable but I like it.

(Source: dasmon, via sexybaldwin)

gemfeathers:

Nice.

(via bdog-urine)

raptortooth:

mybine:

lumos5001:

amazingpeetaisnotonfire:

sluttynuggets:

aphtaiwan:

johnhamishmorstan:

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

image

America makes no sense, as usual.

bless the person that actually made the chart

laughter from France

image

France what the fuck

(Source: vexingholmes, via dirty-brit)

destielsrainbowdick:

morlarty:

IF YOU GET STABBED DON’T FUCKING REMOVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF YOU IF YOU TAKE IT OUT YOU’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.

however if you’re trying to kill someone DON’T FUCKING LEAVE THE KNIFE THE KNIFE IS KEEPING THE BLOOD INSIDE OF THEM IF YOU TAKE IT OUT THEY’LL BLEED OUT AND DIE.

(Source: wrrench, via dietcokeandbunnyears)

inlovewiththepractice:

I heard this on the radio. Mike Brown was a kid who didn’t want to play football, even though he had the body for it. When asked why, he told his friends that he didn’t want to hit anybody.

This is the child that they’re going to paint as a thug. 

(via chinasorrowsvevo)

  • DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
  • Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
  • DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
  • Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
  • DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
  • Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
  • DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
  • Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
  • DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
  • Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
  • DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
  • Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
  • DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
  • Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
  • DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
  • Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
  • DC: Wait-
  • Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
  • DC: I didn't-
  • Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
  • Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
  • Marvel: PEACE
angrynerdyblogger:

cats can straight up do that double jump video game thing

angrynerdyblogger:

cats can straight up do that double jump video game thing

(Source: kittiezandtittiez, via the-absolute-best-posts)

babygoatsandfriends:

breebade:

A few years ago at my school there was a senior prank where two goats were released in the school and were labeled “1” and “3”. The teachers and administrators spent four hours trying to find goat “2”.

thats hilarious

(via imissnepeta)

andrewbreitel:

potayto:

do people really still say me gusta

what

im pretty sure every single spanish speaking person does

(via onemoredaytoanewbeginning)

darvinasafo:

#FERGUSON protestor returns tear gas canister back to sender…
This is Amerikkka 2014
ICONIC

darvinasafo:

#FERGUSON protestor returns tear gas canister back to sender…

This is Amerikkka 2014

ICONIC

(via mrgloss)

datassium:

finally
psychoceans:

Selfie game STRONG

psychoceans:

Selfie game STRONG

(Source: hail2thek1ng, via nebranska)